JUST, UH… LET ME KNOW IF YOU GET BACK UP TO SPEED, ALRIGHT, NO-FACE?

NOT SURE WHY YOU’RE INTERESTED IN MY SEX LIFE OR WHY YOU THINK I’D ACTUALLY DO HIM OF ALL TROLLS. HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, COME ON! THANKS FOR THE LAUGH, THOUGH. WE NEEDED THAT.

I LIKE HER JUST FINE. SHE’S SWEET, HAS A GREAT HEART, GREAT IDEALS. IT’S REALLY JUST LIKE TALKING TO MYSELF…

EXCEPT SHE INSISTS ON GIVING EVERYBODY CUTSIE NICKNAMES.

SURE, I GAVE DISSY HER NICKNAME, BUT THE SUFFRESS JUST GIVES EVERYBODY NICKNAMES, OH MY GOD. IF I EVER HEAR “SIFFY” AGAIN I WILL HANG MYSELF.

I SWEAR I WILL BREAK MY VOWS REGARDING VIOLENCE IF I GET ONE MORE CRACK ABOUT MY MOM FROM YOU, HIGHBLOOD, ESPECIALLY SHIT LIKE THAT.

EVEN IF I WAS ONE OF A MINORITY AND WHAT I BELIEVED WOULD GET ME CULLED, IT WASN’T LIKE I DIDN’T HAVE SUPPORTERS THAT WERE RISKING JUST THE SAME.

I GUESS THAT’S WHAT KEPT ME GOING, IN THE END. 

…. THIS HAPPENS WAY TOO OFTEN FOR IT TO BE FUNNY. HE’S SUCH A SORE LOSER.

BUT MOM WOULD NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT. SHE CARES TOO MUCH ABOUT MY REPUTATION, SHE THINKS MY PAST FLAWS AND STUPIDITY WOULD RUIN ME OR SOMETHING.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND, KNOW THEY ARE THE ONLY REASON I AM WHERE I AM TODAY.

ARE YOU PEOPLE REALLY THAT OBSESSED WITH MY FASHION CHOICES? I THOUGHT THE BIG DEAL HERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT THING I DID A WHILE AGO, OH YEAH, THAT THING CALLED PREACHING. 

… I’M GOING TO GO CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND.